Are You In Line?
On A Lighter Note on Apr.08, 2009
“Are you in line?” the guy standing behind me in the queue at the bank enquired. I nodded, indicating that I indeed was. “To fir thoda aage badho na” came his instant reply. Well he was not being rude to me. If you have lived in Mumbai for a while, you will realize that this is how we converse. His statement was actually a request, asking me to move ahead a little. And the reason for his request was obvious. I was standing almost two feet away from the person ahead of me, and this is not acceptable ‘line’ behavior.
I lack ‘Indian Line Etiquettes’. I seriously do. When in line, I just cannot get myself to stand close enough to the person ahead of me. Nor do I like the person behind me lurking over my shoulders. I like to keep distance. But in India, it is an unwritten rule that the human bodies that constitute a line should get as close to each other as possible, irrespective of where, when, and why the line is being formed. Wasting even an inch of space is not permitted. I term this as the ‘Line Proximity’ rule and when in line, I invariably end up being the rule defaulter. At times I get frowned at for doing so, while at times I get the ‘Thoda aage badho na’ requests from my trailing line-mates.
I have often wondered why people like to get so close to each other in a line. Is it the fear that if vacant space is left between the line occupants, somebody might creep in between? Or is it that a compact line gives a psychological feeling of being closer to the destination, than what you really are? Or is it just a way of expressing that we as Indians have still not lost the ‘human touch’? But whatever is the reason and whatever be the line for, the close bonding amongst line-mates invariably exists. Be it a line for a movie ticket, a railway ticket, a temple, a line to pay a utility bill, or even a line at the public toilet, the proximity rule is always followed. Even when people line up at the airport security check, or when they get in line to board the plane, they ensure that they don’t default on the rule. For some strange reason, everybody wants to be the first one to hop on to the aircraft. Surprisingly enough, as soon as the flight lands, everyone is back in line, desperately trying to be the first one to get out.
My worst in-line experience so far has been while boarding an Air Deccan flight. It was during those days when Air Decaan would not assign seat numbers to passengers (they do now). I was actually warned by a friend that an Air Deccan boarding at times leads to an almost stampede situation, with everyone rushing ahead to grab the best seats. But I dismissed it as one of those exaggerated jokes about low cost carriers. It however turned out to be true. Even before the boarding announcement was made, a line had started forming at the gate. When the boarding announcement was made, I too went and stood in the line. But the moment the boarding gates were opened, the line turned into a big pile up. It was like a transformation of a human chain to a human ball. Everybody was pushing each other, trying their best to get ahead of each other. The aircraft crew tried to control the crowd by saying “Please get in line, please get in line”, but after a couple of attempts they gave up. I guess it was routine for them. Needless to say, I managed to excuse myself from the pile up and was the last to board the aircraft. Thankfully Air Deccan now assigns seat numbers, and people are back to forming close knit lines.
Lines form an integral part of the Indian culture and hopefully someday I will tune myself to the Indian Line Etiquettes and be an efficient ‘linesman’. I am working on it. Following are extracts from my research notes towards my endeavor of being a good linesman:
Apart from the proximity factor, I have noted that people in a line also exhibit the following traits.
- Being the ‘first in line’ is euphoric to the core. Being second, is a feeling as bad as missing a lottery by a digit.
- When in line, it does not matter how many people are ahead of you; not being able to see the end of the line and thus knowing that you are better off than many others, is gratifying enough.
- When in line you will always crosscheck with your fellow lines mates with the following question “Bhaisaab, yeh line kiske liye hain?”. One of those line mates will invariably answer “pata nahi”, yet continue to stand in line.
- Letting somebody get ahead of you in the line, is intolerable. It hurts your ego.
- When in line, you will always try to form mental sketches of the people ahead of you in line.
- In spite of the ‘proximity rule’, somebody will at some point try to get ahead of you in the line claiming “mein idhar hi tha” or “mein bolke gaya tha”, leading to commotion. (Your mental sketches come handy at resolving such conflict situations.)
- Spotting such line intruders and removing them from the line with full public support, qualifies for an act of heroism.
- Appointing a representative to stand in place of you is allowed. The representative can be a bag, kerchief, or any such lifeless object, but only prior to the opening of the counter (for which you are lining up). Once the counters are open, only human forms of representations are accepted.
April 8th, 2009 on 8:35 pm
It is unfortunate that we Indians behave the way we do. Ever heard of evolution and adaptation? the thing is the present situation in India requires you to glue yourself to the next guy in the line. As they say “there is many a slip between the cup (you) and the lip (next guy).” Ppl do crawl in and barge in and force their way in and make a scene. You don’t know if your work will be completed today. It is a Stochastic process and people are just adapting. Been thousands of years and people are still adapting…
But when in Rome so as the Romans do, so does that not apply to India? ..
April 9th, 2009 on 2:20 am
I do agree with the line behavior hypothesis but I do not agree that it applies only to Indians. I was in a huge line outside Best Buy a couple of years ago, for the black friday or thanksgiving sale, on the insistence of my friends. I wasn’t too happy about being in the middle of nowhere and the temperatures made the situation worse( -14deg celcius, the night before had been +10deg celcius) - seemed nature was making a endurance test, to make us feel worthy of the discounts we’d get. I did let people get in because I didn’t move ahead everytime the line shuffled and reshuffled. Well my argument was that since the store wasn’t open (and not enough people were leaving their cherished “line-spots”) , the line couldn’t be getting any shorter so the movement was only temporary and everyone would shuffle back , as they did frequently. The Americans were getting kiddish if you ask me for silly discounts at this point, as they tried to sneak ahead a couple of spots in the line or try to spot a gap in the line somewhere ahead to wrongfully jump in. I incidentally did allow one or two people get in the line with my indiscretion or “don’t care attitude”. So one of the American ladies in the line (coincidentally not even behind me in the line and thus impacted by my indiscretion) accused me with “if you want to make friends by letting people in , please go somewhere else”. The Americans are crazy folks too, I am sure the “line behavior hypothesis” works in any country where people get competitive.
April 9th, 2009 on 11:04 am
Rightly said Imraan…It’s not only restricted to Indians. Moreover, tere’s one more ‘line etiquette’ and that is: If you are a woman [and a good one too :)], you have the ‘right’ to ask somebody “Bhaisaab, aap mere liye please ticket nikaal denge? Yeh Lijiye paise.” and nobody in the line will complain, even if they would be burning within. If you are a man and try to attempt something similar, you will be told “Shana banta hai kya. Jaldi aaneka tha na. Hum log kya berozgaar hain joh aise hi khade hain???” :) :) :)
April 18th, 2009 on 9:53 am
Hilarious, Jay!
Few years ago a man overtook me as I was approaching the counter at a bank in Calcutta. Of course he was avoiding all eye-contact and pretended that it was his right to barge in right in front of me. So, I tell him “Did I ask you take my place or am I entirely invisible to you?” At this point, some of my trailing line-companions voiced their displeasure too (we do that a lot in Calcutta :)) Although I was able to regain my place in the queue, there was not even a trace of apology in that man’s demeanor — or a lame excuse (like: you were engrossed in your daydream etc.)
April 22nd, 2009 on 2:00 am
I must share what happened in shoppers stop with us a few years back. We took our shopping to the counters, only two of them were working, and we actually were the first ones in line( i guess that caused the confusion). And out of habit we just stood a few paces back assuming that a common line would form behind us. Guess what? A man came and stood behind the man(paying for his shopping at one of the counters), we were a bit amused and shocked that he had jumped the queue. And before we could regain our senses(a couple of seconds) another person came and stood behind the person at the next counter. At that point we realised that we were ‘back home’ and should start ‘obeying’ the line etiquettes. This realisation came a bit late though as we had managed to lose our fisrt place in the line altogether. :)