In continuation with my previous write up on Toiletries…

Now can somebody tell me the difference between the variants of Gillette Shaving Gel: ‘Original’, ‘Sensitive’, ‘Conditioning’, and ‘Ultra Comfort’? How does one decide which one gels with you best, especially when all are priced the same, all come in similar looking cans, and all are greenish blue in color. They have similar variants in shaving foams too. So every time at a retail store, I walk past the shaving accessories isle, I get bogged down by questions - questions that I haven’t found an answer for yet - Does their original shave gel not offer a comfortable shaving experience? Is so, why do they still have it when they have managed to invent the ‘ultra comfort’ one? Why would you want to condition your stubs when all you want is to get rid of them? Would an insensitive man feel less macho if he shaves with a ‘Sensitive’ gel? Why did they have to make a simple thing like shaving so complicated?

And I thought the shaving accessory shopping could not get any further complex, until a few days back I saw a shaving gel (yes again from Gillette) which said ‘for tough beard’. Now what is tough beard, and how am I supposed to know if I have tough beard? Aren’t beards supposed to be tough? Isn’t that the reason why we shave it off? Does anybody have a soft and silky beard (apart from those old Chinese looking guys in some martial arts movies with long white beards). And how tough is ‘tough’?. Is my beard tough enough? Well I don’t know. Definitely mine’s not that tough that I have ever cracked a razor trying to shave it off. Nor have I ever caressed the face of any adult male to experience a ‘Teri daadhi, meri daadhi se ‘tough’ kaise?’ moment. So how am I supposed to know if my beard is tough enough for me to actually use this shaving gel?

Nevertheless, you still start investigating. You carcass your face trying to assess the toughness of your stubs. ‘Yup, it’s tough’ you say to yourself with a hint of machoism. But you are still not convinced. So with the hope of deciphering the toughness of my own stubs, you start scouting for unshaven faces in the store. Checking out people (irrespective of their gender), I should admit, is an art which I have not yet mastered to perfection. Hence my endeavor of checking out the stubbed faces, often returns strange glares and at times odd smiles. Eventually my uncomfortable demeanor, my attempt at checking out the not to pretty faces, and my idling at the same isle for durations longer than necessary, draws suspicion in the minds of the store personnel. They start hovering around me trying to ensure that I don’t succeed in, what they suspect, are my shoplifting plans. Some even go to the extent of asking me ‘May I help you sir?’, and while I am tempted to say ‘Yes, I need help. I need help trying to figure out if I have a tough beard’, I just politely decline the help saying ‘No, thank you’.

The last time this happened, I actually picked up the can of gel for ‘tough beard’. I don’t know why, but when I took it at the checkout counter, the cashier gave me the ‘hmmm, so you think you have tough beard? haaa..’ kind of looks, only adding to my confusion. On a prior occasion when I had checked out the shave gel for sensitive skin, the cashier had the ‘Ohhh, Mr. Sensitive skin…sissy’ kind of looks. Now come on. Don’t give me those looks. I just like trying stuff out or maybe I am just a well groomed metrosexual. What’s the big deal? Don’t give me those looks. I seriously think that cashiers at retail stores should be blindfolded so that they don’t give you those judgmental looks based on the items you check out, especially when you are shopping for personal stuff.

Anyways, I have now tried out all versions of shave gels and foams. All feel the same. All are as comfortable as that tiny soap that came complimentary in that hotel room. Wonder what brand that soap was?