Its fun to see how people signoff their emails. The most popular being the ‘Regards’. Now to be frank, I have never understood what ‘Regards’ actually means. I mean what kind of a feeling is a ‘Regard’? And while I almost come to terms at accepting a ‘Regard’, some go a step ahead and write ‘Warm Regards’. Now whatever a ‘Regard’ is, I think this must be a slightly heated version of it. But what if I like my ‘regards’ cold? Are ‘Regards’ supposed to be served warm? And then there are ‘Best Regards’. So now there is a quality factor involved too. So now when I see an email signed just ‘Regards’ I think, “Oh, so you giving me un-warmed and not the best quality ‘Regards’. Hmmm, I will keep that in mind -:) “

Then there are some who sign “Best Wishes”, “All the best”, “Wish you the very best”, giving me the impression that I really must be in bad shape that these people are wishing and praying for me. But a complicated version of this one are the ones that just sign “Best” followed by their name on the following line. Now what’s that supposed to mean? Are you calling me the ‘best’, you wishing me the ‘Best’ or you claiming to be the ‘best’ ??

To those who instruct me by saying “Have a good day” or for that matter “Have a good weekend”, I just want to say “Oh, dammit..I was planning on having a horrible day/weekend. But now that you have asked me to have a good one, I think I will try and obey your instructions”. The same applies to those who ask me to ‘Take Care’ or ‘Be Good’. But the most complicated of them all (I think) are the ones that sign ‘Love’, giving me a jittery feeling on reading that, moreover if the email is from a guy. Maybe I am being a little old fashioned here, but please, I don’t need your official emails with a dash of love.

I don’t know why, but some people include proverbs and quotes too at end of their emails. But never mind. Its till better than having an animated cat or a dog dancing at the bottom to some tune of music playing in the background. And I thought I had seen it all, until I received the following email a few days ago:

“Jay
I am in receipt of the CD. Thanks a lot for the help.
I would keep in touch with you and update about the progress I will make.
Thanks once again dear.
Yours
Vikram”

‘Thanks once again “DEAR”, Yours Vikram’. Could it get any better? -:) NO I didn’t send this guy a CD containing a collection of my personal pictures/videos – if that’s what you are thinking. The CD contained ONLY official documents. And I am so glad I didn’t hand deliver the CD, but rather chose to courier it. I don’t think I could have handled a 6 ft, 90kg mid aged guy oozing with gratitude and love, trying his best to express it.

With that I rest my case.